My story is not an easy story and I think many people can relate to my background. For many years I was fightfing with frustration and anger and often feeling that I was stuck in a corner when things didn’t happen the way I wanted them to. Often, I felt judged by the people around me. It was hard for me to take any criticism, even if it was in a constructive way. This hung over me for many years and caused a lot of harm in my previous marriage. Thank God at age 42 I went for an evaluation and was diagnosed with ADHD. It was very good to finally understand what was causing my behavioral issues.  For quite some time I took medication for ADHD and it really helped me to handle day to day issues. For reasons I am not getting into here I couldn’t continue to take this medicine. In the beginning it was hard but I had to make a decision to take care of my ADHD. I knew what I had, and I knew that I had to challenge my brain to make sure that it would not rule me. I learnt to always think in any situation. When people spoke to me, I had to practice listening to what they said, and then thinking about what was said, before I answered back. Was it always easy? Not at all. But I promised myself not to let the diagnosis rule my life. I was, and I am still in charge of my life. I decided to take help from professionals in how to handle day to day tasks and how to approach situations where I felt I didn’t have full control. I learnt how to see my challenges as positive opportunities to better myself, instead of as something negative.

Today, after years of work on myself with the help of professionals I have learnt to accept myself and love myself, and not judge or criticize myself for being “different”. I love myself very much and I have accepted myself totally. I demand from myself to make sure that my ADHD will not rule my life.  I am extremely proud of myself and I thank God every time for giving me the opportunity to challenge myself and, most of the time, overcome the obstacles in front of me.

Thank God I have an amazing wife. We are one and I love her more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. Of course, she learned about my ADHD early on when we were dating. She saw how much I had control over myself and never let my guard down. As I told her, “If I am not willing to take control over my own life, how can I build a new life with someone else?” This will and determination contributes towards making our marriage strong.

I will not lie and say that my ADHD doesn’t show itself today, but both thanks to myself and a lot thanks to my beloved wife I really try to have control over it. Since she has learned my behavior patterns, sometimes she sees that I am on my way into a corner or I have a mental obstacle that is blocking me, so she is able to give me a heads up. This makes it possible for me to rethink my situation and manage my behavior better. I think it is good that already after four months of marriage she is able to read me so well.

After suffering through years of frustration and behavioral issues, I am in a much better place today.  My journey has helped me to understand myself better, which in turn, helps me to understand others.  Sometimes I meet other people with ADHD, and I can relate so well to what they are going through.  Since I disliked so much the feeling of being judged, I have learned not to judge others.

In conclusion, don’t be afraid of your challenges – we all have challenges in life.  See these challenges rather as positive opportunities to work on yourself and grow.